


Hurtkylofest Ficlets

by Kyluxtrashpit (ApostateRevolutionary)



Series: Assorted Drabbles and Such [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bonding, Broken Promises, Caretaking, Collars, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dom/sub Undertones, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Insecurity, M/M, Napping, Sleep Deprivation, Trans Armitage Hux, Trans Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 09:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApostateRevolutionary/pseuds/Kyluxtrashpit
Summary: A collection of ficlets written forhurtkylofeston tumblr





	1. Wounded feat. trans!kylux

**Author's Note:**

> More ficlets from tumblr, this time for my favourite event from this year. If you're unfamiliar with the event, it was for hurt/comfort of Kylo Ren and each day had prompts to be filled. The prompts are indicated by the chapter titles

The hit to his ribs wasn’t even that hard, yet it was enough to make Kylo stumble, the air shunting out of his lungs. He managed to kill the remaining handful of Resistance fighters, but breathing was still difficult, his little wheezes distorted by the vocoder. Kylo wondered if his ribs were broken, the pain flaring far beyond the light ache he was used to.

He knew wearing compression bandages around his chest wasn’t good for him, but Kylo also knew he didn’t have any other options to keep his chest flat. Risks aside, he’d decided long enough ago that the physical pain of the bandages was more comfortable than the alternative. He could take it. He’d experienced far worse injuries than some minor damage to his ribs.

After he’d killed the last dregs of the fighters, Kylo took a moment to lean against the wall of the base, trying to breathe through the pain. Every inhale brought another stab of pain through his ribs and Kylo gritted his teeth. This was not good.

“Ren?” Kylo turned his head to find Hux striding up to him with a look on his face that would’ve been called concern on anyone else. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” he hissed, the distortion of the vocoder not quite managing to cover the pain in his voice.

Hux’s brow furrowed. “You don’t sound like it. Where were you hit?”

Kylo tried to walk away, not wanting to give Hux the satisfaction. He was pretty sure Hux knew about his gender – Hux always seemed to know things like that – but even if he didn’t, that wasn’t the issue. He just didn’t want Hux to know how hurt he was, to have another thing to lord over him. Hux so loved to gloat. But when Kylo pulled away from the wall, another burst of pain had him stopping, putting a hand to the source of the throbbing. Fuck, he could barely walk.

Now Hux looked truly concerned. “You need medical attention. At least let me take a look to see if you need emergency evacuation.”

“I said I’m fine,” Kylo snapped, but the effect was lost when he leaned back against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the ground.

Hux crouched in front of him. “Don’t be an idiot, Ren. Let me look. I’m not going to let you die of stubbornness and have to explain it to Snoke.”

Kylo nearly snorted, but it hurt too much to even do that. Hux was then grabbing at his robes, searching for a way in to see the damage. Kylo batted at the hands lightly, mostly out of stubbornness, but he knew that trouble breathing was a very bad sign. As much as he hated to admit it, he really did need to get this checked.

He heard the breath Hux sucked in when he pulled Kylo’s robes out of the way, revealing his chest and ribs. The horrified expression on Hux’s face had Kylo wondering if it was really that bad or if he had he been wrong about Hux knowing and was now going to have to deal with an entirely different level of bullshit. Anger washed through Kylo at the very thought, the Force coalescing within him, ready to strike out.

“Ren…” Hux said quietly, still sounding aghast. “What were you thinking, binding with these? No wonder your fucking ribs broke from such a minor hit.”

Kylo furrowed his brow, though Hux couldn’t see that behind the mask. That wasn’t the reaction he’d expected.

Hux was poking at his ribs now, causing Kylo to hiss in pain, but Hux ignored him. “Why didn’t you just requisition a binder? They’re significantly less dangerous, not to mention more comfortable. Is this some sort of dark side idiocy?”

Kylo blinked, processing. How did Hux know that? It took a second, but then it clicked.

“You…?” Kylo started, but a wave of pain cut him off and left him gasping instead.

“Yes,” Hux said, not looking up from where he was gently probing at Kylo’s ribs. “I’ve had top surgery though, so I don’t wear one anymore. And since you seem entirely unware: yes, you can requisition a binder. They’re made to order, but I personally ensured there’s a uniform approved design available.”

Kylo hadn’t known that. He’d never ordered a single part of the uniform, honestly. He’d never had a need to.

“Kriff,” Hux swore, closing up Kylo’s robes again. “We need to get you out. They’re definitely broken and I’m not entirely sure you didn’t puncture a lung.”

Kylo stood with difficulty, finding himself leaning on Hux for support. While he would’ve balked at the thought only an hour ago, now he felt a strange kinship with Hux. There was at least one experience they had in common beyond the Order and Snoke, which was more than they’d ever had before. He also noticed that Hux was unusually gentle with him, moving carefully to try to minimize Kylo’s pain and asking how he was doing as they went. The unexpected kindness was strangely comforting.

“Hux,” Kylo wheezed as they got settled in the transport ship, Hux inexplicably staying with him, as if wanting to make sure he was okay. “I’ve never requisitioned a uniform.”

Hux rolled his eyes, but there was a whisper of a smile on his face. “Stars, you are hopeless. I’ll show you when we get back to the ship and your ribs are fixed. If you’re interested, there are also a number of hormonal and surgical options available onboard…”


	2. Broken Promises + Crying feat. modern au

When the door opened, Kylo perked up from where he was seated on the couch, playing a game on his phone while he waited. Hux was still home later than he technically should have been, but it was earlier than usual and still more than early enough for their dinner plans. He’d been so busy with work lately that Kylo had been feeling neglected and ignored, but tonight Hux had promised they’d go out to dinner once Friday came. It felt like it’d been so long since they’d been able to just spend time together and Kylo missed it dearly.

Kylo stood and met Hux in the entryway, giving him a kiss. Hux looked exhausted, as he always did these days. Kylo hated Hux’s job both for making his boyfriend look so worn out and for taking him away from Kylo, but he also knew there wasn’t much he could do about it.

“You’re home just in time,” Kylo said, smiling; he was excited for this. “I guess you want to change before we go?”

Hux looked at him briefly and then his eyes darted away. There was something guilty in his expression and Kylo’s smile faltered.

“I’m sorry, darling, but I’m going to have to take a raincheck.” Kylo’s stomach dropped, cold anger and hurt washing through him. “I just came home to grab something quick to eat and change. I need to go back and finish some things.”

“But you promised…” Kylo had meant for the words to sound angry, but they came out small and weak.

Hux winced, clenching his eyes shut. “I know and I’m sorry, but they need me to-”

Kylo didn’t let him finish. “If you don’t want to spend time with me, why don’t you just fucking tell me?!”

There was the anger Kylo had tried for the first time and it made Hux flinch, but Kylo couldn’t regret it. He’d asked for one simple thing, one night together for them just to enjoy, and Hux couldn’t even give him that. He’d always thought Hux was good on his word, but apparently not.

Hux’s mouth gaped, working without any sounds coming out, so Kylo continued, “If you want to break up with me, why not just do it already? I thought you wanted to be with me…”

The anger drained out of him and Kylo felt his lip tremble, his vision starting to blur tellingly as he looked away from where Hux had frozen. Then the tears were spilling over and Kylo cursed, wiping at his eyes. He was always such a messy, pathetic crier and he hated it.

Cool hands were cupping his cheeks then and Kylo didn’t have the will to jerk away, even though he was still so angry and upset. But Hux not wanting or at least not caring to be with him was the only thing he could come up with. Why else would he not seem to even care about calling off a night they’d had planned for over a week?

“Kylo,” Hux said, his voice soft and a little sad, “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way. I just… want to do well for us. Remember when we talked about moving somewhere better? Maybe even buying a house? I thought… I thought if I put some extra hours in, I could get a promotion, be able to provide for us. I never meant to make you feel unwanted.”

Kylo hiccupped, trying to get the sobs to abate enough so he could speak. “Hux, I don’t care about that. Do I want a bigger place? Yes. Do I want to have a house with you someday? Yes. But I’d rather live in this shitty little apartment for the rest of our lives and have you actually _be here_ than live in a mansion we could only afford because you’re never home.”

The hands left his cheeks then, Hux pulling him into an embrace. Kylo went willingly, burying his wet, messy face into Hux’s already rumpled jacket. He shuddered as Hux’s arms squeezed him, holding him close. This was what he cared about, not where they lived. Why couldn’t Hux see that?

“I’m sorry,” Hux said again, lips against Kylo’s hair. “I really just wanted the best for us, for you. I didn’t realize how you were feeling.”

Kylo snuffled, not wanting to say anymore. He just wanted to stay like this, to have Hux hold him close forever. The moment would’ve been better without the crying and the argument that preceded it, but the bitter truth was that it never would’ve happened without the bad parts.

Hux made to pull away and Kylo made a sound of protest. “Just give me a moment, okay?”

Kylo reluctantly nodded and let Hux go. Hux reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, fiddling with it for a moment before putting it to his ear. Kylo could hear the faint ringing before someone picked up.

“Yes, hello,” Hux said into the phone. “About that, something’s come up at home and I won’t be returning tonight.”

The voice on the other side sounded surprised, but not angry, though Kylo couldn’t parse the actual words being said. “Yes, I’ll be back on Monday. It’s nothing catastrophic, just important.”

Hux looked at Kylo as he said ‘important’, a soft smile breaking through and Kylo couldn’t help but mirror it. A few more words were exchanged, polite goodbyes, and then Hux was hanging up. He stared at his phone for a second after pressing ‘end’, looking confused.

“I really thought they were going to put up more of a fuss about that,” he finally said, pausing for a moment before visibly shaking off the confusion. “Right, anyways. Shall we get cleaned up? I believe we can still make it in time for the reservation.”

Kylo beamed, reeling Hux in for another kiss. “Let’s go.”

When Kylo pulled away and made to head to the bathroom, Hux stopped him with a hand on his arm, looking remorseful. “I truly am sorry for all this. I promise I’ll try to do better in the future. I mean it this time.”

And despite everything that had happened, Kylo’s chest swelled with hope and happiness. He really did believe it.


	3. Insecure feat. d/s undertones

Kylo paced his quarters, hands itching with the urge to destroy, to take his emotions out on anything that was unlucky enough to be in the room with him. There was no real reason for him to be so worked up, yet a combination of exhaustion and anxiety burned through his veins, leaving him feeling snappish and unbalanced. His mind was spinning and unable to settle no matter how badly he wanted it to.

It felt weak to say he was feeling insecure, unsure if he could ever hope to accomplish everything he aimed to, yet there was no other word for it. He knew he needed to be so much more than he was, stronger, better, more in control. He was trying, he was, but would he ever get there? Could he ever be the man he so desperately strived to be?

Ben Solo had been insecure, constantly doubting himself and what he could achieve. Kylo Ren was supposed to be better than that, to have no _reason_ to question himself, yet the doubts plagued him all the same. He was well aware he wasn’t good enough as he was – not for anyone – but he wanted to be, _ached_ to be. It’s what he was pushing towards, but Kylo couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever get there.

Kylo growled, turning on his heel to stalk back across the room. As he did, his eyes caught on leather and metal, a small detail in his quarters that was always there. He wasn’t sure why his attention had fixed on it at this moment, yet he moved towards it all the same, picking it up from the bedside table.

It was the collar Hux had given him, something they used in their bedroom games and nowhere else. Kylo ran his fingers over the smooth, buttery leather, watching the way the ring in the centre of it glinted under the low lights of the room. He couldn’t explain why it had such a strong effect on him whenever he put it on, instantly feeling centered even before they truly started. There was a strange security in it, in knowing he belonged to someone, in knowing he was _wanted_.

He hesitated for a moment before bringing up the collar and fastening it around his neck. They didn’t have anything planned tonight and Hux would likely think it strange of him to wear it for no reason, but Hux didn’t need to know about it. As Kylo removed his hands, he exhaled a long breath, some of the tension ebbing out of his body instantly.

The band was snug around his neck, tight enough to feel yet perfectly comfortable. Wanting to encourage the calm that was slowly spreading through him, Kylo laid down on his bed, hoping his mind would get the message and settle down. He just wanted peace, some time free from the doubts and insecurities that plagued him. He closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of the collar around his neck and the Force flowing around him, waiting for the anxiety to drain.

* * *

Hux frowned as he entered his override code into the door of Kylo’s quarters. He’d sent a message to his datapad nearly an hour ago asking if he’d like to have dinner together and received no response, nor had he gotten an answer when he’d requested entry to Kylo’s rooms. It wasn’t particularly unusual for Kylo to get caught up in his training or some other task and lose track of time, but it had been a while since that had happened. Despite himself, Hux was a bit concerned and could think of no other course of action than checking up on Kylo.

The door slid open with a soft sound and Hux walked in, finding no sign of Kylo. Frowning harder now, he stepped further into the room, looking for any hints as to where Kylo might be. As he did, he caught sight of a mass of black curled up on the bed through the opened bedroom door. Hux silently chastised himself for worrying; apparently Kylo had just been taking a nap, likely after a training session earlier.

Since he was here, though, Hux walked into the bedroom and approached the bed. Kylo was partially undressed, his outer layers gone to leave him in only a light tunic and pants. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, features soft and slack, so unlike the force of nature he truly was. Hux reached out to put a hand on Kylo’s shoulder, hoping to wake the man without startling him too badly.

Kylo’s eyes flew open immediately, as light a sleeper as always. There was a moment where he tensed under Hux’s hand, a normal reaction when Kylo had been woken suddenly, but immediately relaxed when he realized it was Hux. He stretched a little, inhaling deeply and blinking away the last vestiges of sleep.

“Is something wrong?” Kylo asked, his voice deep and scratchy.

“Not at all,” Hux said, unable to help a soft smile. “I sent you a message about dinner tonight and never got an answer.”

“Oh,” Kylo said, looking more awake already. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“That’s alright.” Kylo sat all the way up and Hux stopped, eyes fixing on the collar Kylo had apparently worn for his nap. “Is that the collar I gave you?”

Kylo looked confused for a second, then glanced down when he realized what Hux was looking at. “Oh, I…”

He sounded embarrassed, which hadn’t been Hux’s intention, but before Hux could say anything, Kylo continued, “I’m sorry. I just… I needed to calm down and I guess I forgot to take it off.”

Something warm filled Hux’s chest at that, at the idea of Kylo wearing his collar to calm down and then being relaxed enough to fall asleep. “You put it on because you needed to calm down?”

Kylo looked away, flushing. “I didn’t mean… I just needed to centre myself. I know it probably sounds weird and I know we’re not doing anything tonight, but…”

He moved to take it off, but Hux reached out a hand to stop him. “Kylo, you can wear the collar anytime you want. If we could, I’d love to have you wear it all the time.”

Kylo’s eyes flashed at that, something hungry and wanting. “All the time?”

“Yes, it’s quite common,” Hux said, his own body reacting to the idea, but he didn’t want to get carried away just yet. “What was it you needed to calm down about?”

“I just…” Kylo paused, hesitating; Hux knew he hated talking about such things. “I was doubting. And the collar feels… secure.”

Hux pushed a lock of messy hair behind Kylo’s ear, letting his hand linger; Kylo didn’t need to tell him the details for it to be obvious that he had been doubting himself yet again. “Darling, if it helps you to wear it, then do so. If it helps you to think about me, then do so. Just never doubt that you’re more than enough in my eyes, alright?”

Kylo smiled shyly at that, pushing his head into Hux’s hand. Hux took the hint and ran his fingers through Kylo’s hair, scratching at his scalp. As much as the idea of Kylo wearing his collar all the time excited Hux, it was drowned out by the knowledge that such a simple thing actually calmed Kylo down, made him feel wanted and secure. The fact that Hux could have that effect, without even being present, was far more precious than any fantasy they might play out.


	4. "You need to eat something" + sleep deprivation

Kylo was nearly dead on his feet as he exited his ship. The mission had only been a couple of days long, but he hadn’t had a chance to eat or sleep during the whole duration. His target must have been hopped up on stims to have lasted so long without a rest, but Kylo was not going to give up his pursuit. He’d had nothing but quick sips of water and brief moments of leaning against something to sustain himself the entire time until he’d finally caught the slippery bastard.

He tried hard not to stumble too much as he made his way to his quarters, thankful for the crew’s habit of avoiding him at all costs. Kylo didn’t particularly want to be seen like this, completely out of it from hunger and sleep deprivation, and he just wanted to get to his rooms so he could finally _sleep_. He could deal with eating once he woke up, no matter how loudly his stomach protested that idea.

Finally reaching his door, Kylo slumped against the wall as he entered in his personal code. He was denied, so he grunted in annoyance and tried again. When he was denied a second time, Kylo gave up and used the Force to open the mechanism. His sloppy fingers were just another sign of how much he needed to lie down.

The room that should’ve seemed familiar was strangely alien in this state, the arrangements of his sparse furniture off enough that he bumped into a couple of things, cursing weakly. His eyes were starting to slip closed, his body lulled further by the knowledge that he was so close. Kylo managed to make it to the bed and collapsed face down upon it, not bothering to move or get undressed. He could worry about that later.

Kylo let out a deep sigh, the standard First Order bed never having felt this comfortable before, and let oblivion take him.

* * *

“Ren?” Kylo startled awake at the sound, momentarily confused as to where he was and why someone was there with him.

He rolled over, fast enough to make his head spin, and found Hux staring at him in confusion from the end of the bed. Kylo blinked, his eyelids feeling sticky, trying to parse why Hux would be here in his rooms. Sure, yes, sometimes they spent a few hours together in one of their beds, but only when it was planned ahead of time and there was definitely no sleeping involved. Kylo knew it wasn’t that kind of relationship.

“What are you doing here?” The words came out slurred and Kylo shook his head, struggling to wake up fully.

“I should think that’s obvious, given that these are my quarters,” Hux said, crossing his arms. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Comprehension dawned and suddenly it all made sense, the door code, the displaced furniture. Kylo looked away, embarrassed. How had he managed to end up in Hux’s quarters by mistake? Their rooms were close, that was true, but it was still a humiliating error.

“I didn’t mean to be,” Kylo said, forcing his heavy, protesting body to get up. “I’ll go now.”

Kylo managed to make it to standing and made to leave, but Hux stopped him with a hand on his chest, frowning. “When was the last time you slept?”

“Before I left for my mission,” Kylo answered honestly, not seeing any reason to lie.

“Kriff, no wonder you’re so out of it,” Hux said, shaking his head slightly. “Are you injured, too? Have you eaten?”

“Not injured. No time to eat.” Kylo said, swaying slightly on his feet; he didn’t know how long he’d slept for, but he did know it wasn’t even close to enough.

Hux pressed his lips together in a hard line. “You need to eat something.”

Kylo couldn’t help the soft, whining noise that crawled out of his throat. He wanted to _sleep_ first, then he’d eat. It wasn’t the first time he’d gone without food for a couple of days and he knew it wouldn’t kill him.

“Come now, you’ve already slept for a few hours,” Hux insisted. “Eat something for me and then you can go back to bed.”

Hux shepherded him over to his desk by a hand on Kylo’s lower back and Kylo didn’t have it in him to fight it. His stomach did ache, feeling like it was gnawing on itself, but he was so incredibly tired that he didn’t care. Kylo slumped heavily in the desk chair, closing his eyes and tilting a bit as Hux went off to presumably grab him some sort of nourishment.

Kylo was just about to start nodding off when Hux tapped him on the shoulder. Kylo forced his burning eyes open to see a nutrient pack thrust in front of him. As far as rations went, they could be worse, but they weren’t exactly appetizing. They were packets of fruit-flavoured slurry with a thick straw built into the metallic foil of the packaging, designed for quick consumption.

_Small mercies_ , Kylo thought as he fumbled to open the package. Hux tried to help but Kylo batted his hands away with a weak glare. He was capable of doing at least this by himself and Hux thankfully took the hint, heading off to his bedroom and leaving Kylo to suck down the mixture. It tasted so much better than he remembered and his stomach growled loudly when it first hit his tongue.

“See? I told you you needed to eat.” Hux had apparently changed into a light tunic and pants, giving Kylo a wry smile from beside the desk.

Kylo didn’t have a response for that, so he focused on finishing off the nutrient pack, amazed at how it could taste so good when he was hungry enough. He usually hated these things, yet now he was swallowing it down as if it was a delicacy. It really was annoying how often Hux was right.

When Kylo finished off the packet, he discarded it into the bin next to Hux’s desk, then rose, intending to finally go to his own quarters and pass out for as many hours as he needed. His stomach now sated, the exhaustion washed over him anew, his limbs sluggish and unwilling to move. It wasn’t far to his own quarters, but Kylo still had to stifle a groan when he thought about making the walk.

Hux’s hand returning to his lower back brought Kylo out of his musings. “Come on, now you can go back to bed.”

Kylo wanted to protest, not understanding why Hux was ushering him to his bed rather than kicking Kylo out to go to his own, but the thought of being able to lie down again was too enticing to resist. Hux got him sitting on the bed, then pulled his outer layers and boots off, leaving Kylo in a similar state of undress to Hux. As soon as Hux took his hands off, Kylo didn’t need to be told to get into bed, burrowing into the sheets and letting out a pleased sigh.

He didn’t expect Hux to climb in as well, wrapping an arm around Kylo’s middle. Kylo melted into the loose embrace, the warmth of Hux’s body settling him even further. Being held like this felt better than it should’ve and Kylo might have hated himself for liking it so much if he’d been aware enough. As it was, he was too out of it to do anything but enjoy the rare moment of closeness.

“Sleep well, Ren,” was the last thing Kylo remembered hearing as he slipped off again, followed by a press of lips to his temple that Kylo would never be sure if he had dreamed or not.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [tumblr](http://kyluxtrashpit.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/kyluxtrashpit/) too


End file.
